27 Weeks: Housewife

When I was about ten years old my father took me to his company's first "take your daughters to work day."  He did not actually have me sit around in his office and see what he did all day, but he did find me a female employee to work with.  She was in charge of sending out all the office news, so I even got to publish a little article about the event I was attending.  There is one thing that stuck out to me the most about this day, I received a tee-shirt that at an A-Z list of professions and at the top it said, "Girls Can Do Anything."

I think about what it really means to be a girl and be able to do anything.   After graduating college, I  did not bother to take the time to establish a career before marrying the greatest man in the world and having baby after baby.  In this time I figured out that I really enjoy writing, but other than that I have not pursued a career.  I like the idea that I could work if I wanted to, but I do not like the fact that the professional woman has to figure out a balance between home and school in a way that men never do.

My job around the time of my first pregnancy was just to make money.  I was working as a film librarian at a hospital for around twenty thousand a year.  A few weeks into my job I found out I was pregnant and all I could think about was the fact that I never planned to have kids and work too.  My mom stayed at home with me and that is all I ever knew.  Unfortunately, my newly graduated husband was looking for work and I was the one with the job.  I worked through my pregnancy and even considered going back to work.  I can imagine how women who actually like their jobs miss being at work, but I was relieved to get out.

Mommy life did have it down sides for me.  I was used to being out and about.  It had been years since I had spent so much time at home.  Think about it, as soon as school starts, one is trained to be out of the home.  After being busy all the time, I suddenly had nothing to do and so much to do.  How does a woman define herself when most her life she thought she should have a career?  Nobody would know that I was more than just a stay at home mom.  I know French fluently and I have worked really hard in my academic life up until this point.  Now I was starting to feel like the world around me saw me as a failure...having a baby at twenty-three made me feel as if my life had ended and I would never have the chance at a real career.

Now I have been home full time for six years and my priorities have changed.  Do people realize how much money one saves by having kids and keeping one parent home full time?  I have watched friends look for a nanny and a cleaning lady.  Lots of meals are thrown together, or simply not made.  Kids are living off of fast food, snacks, and never sitting down to eat as a family.  Not to mention there is a need for activities since the school day does not line up with the work week for most people.  Here I am living a very simple, but enjoyable life.

Our family has a strict schedule.  This is one of the ways I keep my own sanity and make sure I have time to take care of household chores and such.  We all wake up early and have a nice breakfast together.  The kids have fun playing for a lot of the morning, but I spend about an hour a day reading and trying to teach specific things to the kids.  Lunch is around the same time everyday and so is dinner.  In the afternoon the kids get to have a quiet time and then play some more.  Breaking up the day in sections keeps the kids happy because they have a way to predict what comes next.

I have a goal to make sure the house is cleaned little by little throughout the week, but the big tasks (kitchen and bathrooms), I work on at the end of the week.  I am not super organized with meal plans.  Some moms I know have a calender and the plan out their family's meals for the month.  I plan for the week, but most of the time I stick to a few recipes and then rotate in new things once and awhile so we do not get too bored.  With the farm share, I have to plan by the week since our veggie stash plays a huge role in all of our meals.

There is nothing simple about being a full time mom.  I have learned that every day will be unpredictable.  My kids will not always be perfect.  I may scream more that I like or want anyone to know about.  The picture of the mom I thought I would be is so far from what I am, but I am alright with that.   I do not have time for much of a social life outside my family.  A lot of things I love to do are on the back burner for now.  However, the joy of being a mother, home with her kids, is priceless.  You cannot learn how do be a mom from school.  You pick up some things from your own mother, but a lot of it is learn as you go.  One is not defined by his or her profession.  At the end of the day I would prefer my children know me, not what I do.