34 Weeks: Nest or Rest

Here I am in a typical third trimester dilemma, is it more important to nest or rest?  My mind is counting down weeks at this point, while my body is telling me to chill out and take a nap.  I do not remember being so tired at the end of my other pregnancies.  Yes, I have had my iron checked and it was low...Now I am talking freeze dried liver capsules to solve the problem.  That has helped, but my mind is not in alignment with my due date. 

What is the cause of this?  OTHER KIDS!  For the first time in my nesting experience I notice that having other kids is really taking up more time than nesting.  In the past there was the glorious time of day called nap time.  Everyone in the house was successfully quiet for around two hours a day.  Even my four year old son loved his naps.  My three year old daughter did not sleep, but understood how to be quiet and mommy was in a happy place.  I could do whatever I wanted.  I folded clothes, got housework done (stress free), took a nap, watched a show on DVD, and had some quality recharging.  Now I am cleaning up poop and pee from my potty training two year old and dealing with a teething one year old (her first two teeth can you believe it?).  Meanwhile, my four year old, almost five year old, cannot believe she has to stay home with me while her six year old brother gets to go to school.  Did I mention drop off and pick up with four kids?  Just loading them all into the car for this takes around a half an hour.  All order and stress free afternoons are GONE! 

Today I begged my daughter to play outside just so the the house would be quiet while the babies took a nap.  She lasted about ten minutes before making up a story about being scared of something in the yard.  I am not sure what, but I let her come in.  I should be happy she wants to be with me.  She chats nonstop.  From what I remember about myself, this chatty side of me stopped around twelve years old.  So really I need to enjoy it while it lasts. 

As my son pooped in his pants, my daughter claimed she did not mean to push over the baby, and my bread is just about done in the oven as the phone rang.  It was my husband.  I could barely hear him and the kids just got louder.  Sorry dear, I had to go.  I love phone calls, but these days I am lucky if I can hear who is on the other line.  My great plans of sorting through several boxes of baby clothes was put on the back burner.

Then tonight my husband looked over at me and asked me what I was thinking about.  I said, "nesting."  He went to the garage and got out all the boxes of baby clothes for me and I was able to sort them all in about a half an hour.  When I was done, he put them all away.  This was the greatest gift a husband could give a woman who is 34 weeks pregnant.  With my belly in the way, it would have easily taken me about twenty minutes just to get the boxes out of the garage. 

On another note, I wish resting could be easier these days, but if I have to pick one, nesting is a lot more fun.  I am sticking to a strict bedtime to make up for my failed attempts to nap.  When the clock says ten P.M., I better be attempting to sleep.  In around a month from now a new baby will be setting my sleep schedule, so I am going to enjoy a few more nights of sleeping through the night. 

33 Weeks: Birth is Approaching!

I know it is early for me to start writing titles like "Birth is Approaching,"  but after having four other kids, I realize how fast these next few weeks can fly by.  My focus is all over the place as I have gone through many other, non pregnancy related transitions.  I have a walking baby now, a little boy to get potty trained SOON, a girl who wishes she could go to school, and a son who just started kindergarten.  There is never a dull moment.  When I finally sit down, I realize how I have spent very little time bonding with the new life inside of me.  I am serious about wanting to connect with my baby even before he or she is born.  It is fun feeling some major movement these days.  Little baby loves to jump around in my belly.  It feels as if I have a built in trampoline!

As the birth approaches I am getting out my lists of supplies for a home birth.  When one goes to the hospital all one really needs are some clothes, but with a home birth, I feel more obsessive about getting prepared.  In preparation for my last baby, I made a plan to cook one extra meal a week, so that when I had the baby we would have about five meals all ready.  People have blessed us with some great meals, but there are also days when it is up to us and my husband has been thankful that making dinner only consisted of putting a ready made meal in the oven.  Some of the food I though would freeze and recook did not work out as well as I planned, so this time around I am thinking twice about my food plans.

One cannot go wrong with freezing a lasagna and some kind of chilli.  These are also meals people love to hand out after a birth, so it depends on how much the family expects choices.  I myself do not mind having chilli twice in one week, but every day might be a bit much.  It would be nice to consider so more creative dishes.  Maybe I could freeze my favorite beef stew...or perhaps chicken and dumplings (something I have never made, but comfort food is great the first month after delivery).  A part of me is thinking about having some quick to make recipes planned out for my husband because I just am such a snob for freshly cooked food.  I cook most nights and I can tell the difference between fresh cooked food and previously frozen stuff.  It would be nice to think it all tastes the same but it does not.  There are easy ways to make a quiche, or a pasta dish with sauteed veggies.  These things do not take much time to prepare and can be a break from casseroles. 

Apart from food I am trying to stay motivated to keep my house a little cleaner than usual.  It is important to me to have a super clean house for the birth, even if I only use one room to deliver in.  I usually let our bedroom fill up with stuff the kids cannot get into, but I am finding other places to store things.  I may need to let the garage get a bit messy for now.  I have my usual bathroom and kitchen cleaning schedule, but I am trying to vacuum a bit more and dust off surfaces.  I am hoping when I get my last rush of energy to clean before the birth, most of the things I want done will already be clean so I can focus on crazier tasks like cleaning out the fridge.  I like to clean, but pregnancy makes one want to clean EVERYTHING and that is exhausting. 

My projects are pretty much wrapped up for now.  I have a little knitting going, but nothing that needs to be finished.  The project I am working on is for myself as a reminder to sit down and relax once and a while.  I have a book I would like to read, but I am not stressing myself out about it.  This blog is my main project right now and I hope to continue to find time to write every week. 

I am starting to look forward to the idea of holding a new baby again.  It will be nice to have my body back again even if it will be a bit squishy around the edges.  The end of this pregnancy is in sight, but I also want to try and enjoy looking down at my giant belly and cherishing every kick.  It is hard to stay positive about pregnancy when one feels like a cross between a slug and an elephant, however, this phase will not last forever.  Part of enjoying the third trimester is preparing a space outside the womb for my child and looking forward to the first glance at his or her face. 

32 Weeks: Baby Stuff

There is so much going on the last trimester of pregnancy.  For one, I am wiped out again.  Taking care of four kids is enough by itself.  By this time in my other pregnancies, I may have already washed and organized all the baby clothing.  This time around I have yet to do this for multiple reasons.   I do no know where to put the clothing yet, and I feel too lazy to go into the garage, get out all the clothing, and arranged it all again.  Plus, boy clothes and girl clothes will be sitting around until I give birth.  My house already feels like clothing is swallowing us up.  Maybe I am less motivated because I know I have what I need and so all I will really need is a few days to get everything ready.

Some people may still be sitting around trying to figure out what it means to feel like one has everything for the first year of a baby's life.  Here are the things that I have found most important for my family.  We always need a pack and play.  Cribs have not worked so far.  We had a beautiful crib we borrowed from a friend for my first born, but having kids so close together would have meant we would need to buy a crib every few years.  Plus, cribs take up more space.  In fact, with my third child I got a moses basket for my baby so I would have more space in my bedroom.  I had a feeling this baby would be in my room for a while.  After all, my other two bedrooms were filled and teaching my two kids to share a room was going to be a new challenge.  Don't forget to have two fitted sheets for the baby bed and some baby blankets (we have a basket full from gifts). 

Having plenty of diapers is always helpful.  If you are not cloth diaper obsessed, have three or four cases of newborn diapers.  The average newborn goes through about twelve diapers a day.  I had no idea, but one gets through those diaper cases every few days!  When my closet was filled with diapers for my first child, I had no idea how helpful this would be.  If you love cloth diapers, but are unsure of how many you will need I recommend at least twelve diapers.  We seem to get through four to six covers in a couple of days, so eighteen diapers has been a good number.   With Fuzzi Bunz, my first try with cloth, we had twenty diapers and this was great for doing laundry every other day.  Cloth diapers take up less space in the closet and the trash, but do make one need to keep to a good laundry schedule.

Baby clothes are interesting.  I get out three sizes right away.  All of my babies have been around five pounds so we have about five preemie footies and some cute outfits.   For nighttime, we use the gowns that have those hand covers to prevent the baby from scratching his or her face.  I have seven of these, but one does laundry so much when a baby is small three or four are fine.  My babies have been in size newborn a few weeks after the birth, so all these clothes are washed and in the drawer too.  I have quite a collection after having two boys and two girls.  Some clothing goes unworn at this stage.  Think seasonally, we do not put dresses on my baby girls in the fall when they are tiny.  It makes changing diapers such a pain.  I love footies until my kids try and more around.  Socks fall off! Then I have 0-3 months clothing out too, just in case my kids suddenly grows out of everything!  Trust me it happens fast.  After this I have been able to relax with the kids clothing.

Getting a car seat is confusing.  A friend gave us one she had picked up at a second hand store.  We never had a problem with it and used it for two kids.  Here is the deal with used car seats:  If they have been in a crash they are not a good investment.  One does no know if this has happened unless a good friend gives you an old car seat.  Purchase your own car seat if you can.  They have a five year life and then the plastic is no longer considered safe.  Most people who have two kids can use the same car seat for both infants.  We needed a new one for our third child.  It will still be in decent shape for our fifth.  

We did not get a highchair until my first born was five months old.  Our apartment was small so, if we did not need it, we did not have it.  People gave us some toys, but we did not buy any ourselves.  Basically, all we really needed to get started were diapers, clothes, a car seat, and a place for the baby to sleep (even though our babies have spent more time in our bed the first month, than in a pack and play or moses basket).

If you breastfeed, food is there for the baby around the clock.  Otherwise, try and find glass baby bottles.  BPA is a problem with plastic bottles and there is already enough BPA coating the cans of formula.  I do not have much experience with bottle feeding.  I did give my first born formula because I was pregnant and losing too much weight.  Now I have been able to breast feed and be pregnant at the same time just fine.  I understand there are times when breastfeeding is not possible, but if you can breastfeed enjoy it.  Yes, the baby never leaves your breast the first month, but it gets better and your bond is stronger because of it.

There are plenty more fun things to buy for a new baby, but do not stress.  There are stores open after one has a baby, not to mention websites to buy from.  I love www.diapers.com.  It is easy to get obsessive about baby stuff.  I used to walk around the baby section of target just drooling.  It is hard to stop wanting more things.  One can never be too prepared.  It can be fun to add a few random things to baby shower registry.  Sometimes a cute baby outfit can make you smile when your baby has already spat up on you a hundred times and you somehow got mustard poop stains all over your favorite shirt.  Enjoy nesting, it is fun, plus it is the most organized one will be for awhile.  Once the baby is born, days fly by.

 

31 Weeks: The Privilege of Birth

Yes, I know that I still have several weeks to go.  I am reminded by this every time some asks me if I am due soon.  However, thinking about labor and delivery comes and goes throughout the entire pregnancy.  I have just recently gotten to the point where it is an obsession.  For someone who has already done this four other times it should be down to an art by now, but every baby and birth is different.

When I began my first birthing journey, I knew very little about my rights as a laboring mother.  I thought I had read all the important books and having a natural childbirth would be easy.  Nobody had told me otherwise and the hospital where I planned to have my baby raved about their love for natural childbirth.  Every birthing room was filled with balance balls, rocking chairs, tubs, and many other ways to manage pain without drugs.  Little did I know how rarely anyone dared to ask for an actual natural birth.

My birth situation became unnatural almost the second I arrived at the hospital.  My bag of waters broke and I had no sign of contractions.  I was barely thirty-seven weeks.  Not realizing that some women can go seventy two hours like this without any major complications to the baby, I did what any first-time mom would do.  I wanted answers and so we went into the hospital.  After all, what does labor actually feel like?  Would I have known at that point?

When I got to the hospital I was faced with deciding to be induced after only four hours of 'labor.'  My husband and I were very opposed and I had read enough to know that I had the right to wait twenty-four hours once admitted to the hospital.  That is what we did, but my labor was not progressing.  Maybe it was the space I was in, or the pressure to come up with contractions out of thin air.  Hours went by and I was induced in the middle of the night.  Had I known how painful this would be I would have asked the nurse to wake up my husband before she induced me.  I was on the other side of a fairly large room in a rocking chair.  Every contraction made me feel as if my entire body would split in two.  I wanted to cry, but I did not have the energy.  The nurse kept bothering me and telling me I was trying to be too strong and I should get an epidural.  NO WAY WAS ANYONE ADDING MORE DRUGS TO MY SYSTEM! Unfortunately, two hours of feeling scared and alone I caved into taking a relaxant.  I felt like I had to do something.  My husband woke up just as the nurse came in with the drug.  After this I felt like half a person.  My maternal ability to take in my labor was gone.  Six hours later I felt like I could not breathing and as I pushed my baby out a nurse gave me oxygen.  I was placed in the worst position ever, on my back, causing my pelvis to be narrow.  My baby was only five pounds and four ounces, but for kicks, instead of changing my birth position, I was sliced and stitched up.  After this experience I still wanted to know what natural child birth felt like.  What was a real working contraction like?

I am thankful that a lot of my questions were answered during the birth of my second child.  This was the perfect hospital birth.  We had moved away from the larger hospital where I had my first child.  At first I was skeptical about the hospital in our new small, town, but I had no idea how much better it would be.  The doctors were family practice doctors and most of them were used to natural child birth.  It was strongly encouraged.  None of the nurses even brought up the epidural when I was in labor.  I spent as much time in the tub as I wanted and was free to move around without being hooked up to a baby monitor.  It only took me about five hours from early labor on.  My daughter looked right at me as I pushed her out.  This experience was amazing.  I felt like my labor and delivery had been too easy.  I was almost disappointed I had not needed to work harder. 

When it was time to deliver my third baby I could not wait to have another calm experience at our nice little hospital.  This was not the case.  I somehow was due when the rest of town was having a baby.  I was one of the first to enter the hospital, but the nurses would not shut up about all the people they were expecting in the birth center the next couple of days.  There was all this pressure to either pick up my labor quick or just go home.  I felt abandoned and completely uncared for this time.  I went home when my labor was not progressing and the second I was home I would feel contractions again.  When we got back tot he hospital everything stopped.  When my water finally broke I really did not want to go to the hospital at all.  I had regular contractions, so we finally decided to go back in.  The day passed by quickly.  I never saw a nurse and once again thought if I were to be at the pushing phase, would anyone be here to help us catch my baby?  This was the longest birth process ever and in the end I had to be induced.  I was angry and frustrated when the whole thing was over.  I knew what my body could do and something about my experience was horribly wrong.

To top off my frustration I found out I was pregnant again just a few months later!  This time I went to see a midwife.  There was no way I wanted to have another horrible hospital experience.  I would wake up in the middle of the night, angry at the hospital.  Having a baby at home had to be better.  I was not thrilled about home birth like some people because of silly things.  What if my house was not clean enough?  How would I stop myself from trying to do house work seconds after birth?  Who would feed us?  All those kind of things, not the birth itself.  I was not scared of my overall safety.  I knew my body could give birth without any problems. 

This labor was strange for me.  I felt like the birth would go fast when I woke up with my bag of waters broken and very strong working contractions.  We called the midwife and I was not sure she would even make it on time.  When she arrived everything stopped!  I could hardly believe it.  Somehow I was still afraid of giving birth from my last experience.  It took about a half a day for me to relax enough for my contractions to come back.  Then they did they were really irregular.  Longs painful contractions with about a half an hour in between.  It was strange, but when things picked up it was only a couple of hours before I was holding my beautiful baby.  She was born in water, making it an extra special experience.  Why had I waited so long for a home birth? 

A good midwife is willing to see how your body responds to labor.  She is willing to hear you and empower you to trust your body.  Now that I am going to have my fifth baby, I look forward to the birth experience, even the painful contractions.  Women do not realize what a gift it is to be able to give birth in the first place.  The connection a woman had between herself and the baby during birth is a real privilege.  I used to think that it was something one just had to bare to have a child, but this attitude is missing the point.  Parenting begins with protecting the baby through to process of birth.  Labor, though painful at times is exciting and enjoyable if you abandon yourself and miracle of birth.