Let's face it, babies are amazing, but sometimes pregnancy clouds our judgement. I have felt pregnant for the last six years even though at one point I had almost a two year break. When I found out I was pregnant with my fifth child, instead of jumping for joy I started to think through a list of things I no longer could do. I had only been through six months of pregnancy recovery from my last baby.
Forget getting back in my long love for jogging. I was finally feeling strong enough to run up steep hills again. I'm not talking about a few laps around the track (that has never really interested me). I had this picture in my head that I would be back to running six miles on weekends. Am I crazy? No I just happened to run cross country in high school and never got over running. Since, I started having kids, my goal has always been to get back to where I was, but that has NEVER happened.
I will say that the attempted to get my body back has kept me in shape. I will still have about twenty-five pounds to loose on top of whatever I gain this pregnancy, but I must say I have been in decent shape considering I have two kids fourteen months apart, two more kids thirteen months apart, and this next baby will only be sixteen months younger than my last one.
My family and I just purchased a mill to mill our own flour. It is one we have to turn by hand. Before the pregnancy test was positive I had figured out how to mill and bake bread for the week. We did not buy any bread for about a month. It was an accomplishment I had worked towards for a couple of years. I have been pricing grain mills for three years. However, milling pregnant made my back ache and walking is much more important.
So, as I started to put my Jillian Michaels workouts away and give up milling for awhile, I pulled out the box of maternity clothing that had not made it to the garage yet. The funny thing is, the week I found out I was pregnant, I found myself weepy over a friend's beautiful homebirth experience. It's funny how we kind of prepare ourselves without even trying.
Anyway, the list of things I was going to give up soon disappeared when I started to wake up feeling sick and tired. Suddenly, I was not longer concerned about getting back to my old self before pregnancy. All I could think about was making it through to the second trimester.
When I was pregnant with my first and second child there was still time for naps, but by baby three, four, and five, forget sleeping enough. Sometimes my eyes would just close as my kids ran around the living room. There was no way my body could make it through the whole day, but I kept trying. Not to mention, when food is repulsive it is hard to make sure one is taking in only good healthy food. The smell of certain veggies made me sick.
There was one week of bliss, when I started to feel like myself again. God must have known I needed it since my husband and I went to CA for the weekend with a lap infant each...yes a just over two hour flight with NO personal space. Shortly after our fun trip, I woke up violently throwing up everything I ate. Goodbye morning sickness, Hello stomach flu! I was out for about a week. There were times I felt like I would never want to eat food again. Sips of water barely stayed in my system. Getting sick pregnant is brutal!
Then there is a day like today. The sun has been shining for the whole week and I live in North West, so this had been a very grey spring. I finally cooked real food for the first time in weeks and enjoyed it all. The kids and I made homemade pizza from scratch. We topped it with homemade pesto and fresh tomatoes. Now I am enjoying the fragrance of a chicken roasting in my oven. I am one of those women who feels like a huge part of life is missing without the enjoyment of food preparation and family meals. I am thankful to finally enjoy cooking again. It is nice to remember the blues of the first trimester do come to an end. No I am on to accepting my growing tummy and getting some new maternity cloths. Lets face it, any woman enjoys a real guilt free reason to shop.
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